Saturday, 15 October 2005

Corn Flakes Prevent Masturbation

A bowl of Corn Flakes start the day; if you follow the link, you'll learn how they were actually invented by John Kellogg, inspired by the mad Christian religious group he belonged to. He recommended his corn flakes be combined with male circumcision (Heads Up:- there are pictures of the penis there [and there too!]) and the application of Carbolic Acid to the clitoris (NB: pictures there) to prevent masturbation in the young! (NB: more images, including my favourite, the masturbation preventing gadget below).

"Excerpt from United States patent number 745264, filed on May 29, 1903 by Albert V. Todd. It describes a device designed to prevent masturbation by inflicting electric shocks upon the perpetrator, by ringing an alarm bell, and through spikes at the inner edge of the tube into which the penis is inserted."

Getting back to the daily diet, in mid-afternoon I enjoy a brown roll, liberally covered with poppy and sesame seeds, split and eaten as seperate halves with generous chunks of some lovely fresh Brie; later on there's the guilty pleasure of three Weetabix with milk and cinnamon; two chocolate chunk cookies; an Emmental on brown sandwich; a strawberry yoghurt; and three chocolate sandwich biscuits to complete All I Ate Today.

1 Comments:

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Tue Jul 21, 03:59:00 pm BST  

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